5 Reasons You Must Fly Solo to Find Happiness
Anxiously HUMAN
But you hate being alone, right?
I get it. Trust me. From being an only child subject to neglect, I had enough solitude to last me awhile. Perhaps that is why I allowed people to stay in my life who had no business being there? I know many can relate to this both on a social and personal level.
As humans, we crave connection. We don’t need it, like we need water, but after some time without it, our mental and physical health can start to decline.
So why do we need to be alone? What purpose does it serve?
An incredibly important one. Even animals “leave the nest”, so to speak, at some point. So why shouldn’t you, you’re an adult right?? Here’s the top reasons taking some time for solitude will enable you to truly be HAPPY.
- Self-confidence is NOT achieved by popularity or a large social circle.
Please don’t confuse ego with self-confidence. Gaining your independence is glorious and vital for self-confidence. If we go from our parents, to then a roommate, to then bounce from relationship to relationship (probably overlapping)… IT’S DEPENDENCY MADNESS.
To achieve true self-confidence you must be self-sufficient emotionally. That means being able to fill your own “tank”… to avoid codependent relationships, unfulfilling friendships, etc. If we think we need to be attached to someone, we need validation, support, and need the company of others pretty much at all times… it’s a sad situation. You’re always at the mercy of others, expecting them to make you happy.
IT’S A WEAK WAY TO LIVE. I know, that sounds mean to say, but it is the undeniable truth.
2. You start to feel comfortable in your own skin.
When you constantly attach yourself to people, they also attach their opinions to you. How you act, dress, speak, etc becomes influenced by these other people, and before you know it… you don’t know your true identity anymore. But if you spend some time by yourself, you’ll start asking:
What movie would I like to see? What restaurant would I like to eat at? What fun activity would I like to do today? What outfit would I love to wear today?
It’s incredibly liberating and kinda gives you the warm fuzzies, if I’m being honest. Like I feel really good going exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it.
3. You’re not using other people for personal fulfillment or happiness.
Attachment is very different from LOVE. We attach ourselves to others because we feel needy, weak, scared, insecure. Attachment comes from a place of SCARCITY and FEAR. Love, on the other hand, comes from a place of ABUNDANCE.
It’s saying I am whole, I am happy, I am self sufficient…and I would like to share that with you in a partnership. Typically people who hop from relationship to relationship never achieve true love, only codependency and surface connection. I spent the better part of 6 years dating on and off but never getting into a relationship, because I didn’t feel I had that abundance to offer. I was selfish and perfectly ok with it.
4. Solitude helps you be more creative AND productive.
If you’re always surrounded by other people and voices, how can your mind wander? How can you day dream? The answer is you don’t. Spending time alone sparks the creative part of your brain, and working or planning times become more productive because you have way less distraction.
DOING THIS CAN REALLY HELP YOU FOCUS AND GET ON TRACK.
5. Happiness is such a personal thing.
If you spend your life expecting people, places, and things to make you happy…you’ll be chasing your tail forever! “Happiness comes from within” is not just a pretty-sounding quote, it’s factual.
As stated in #2, you have to get really comfortable with YOU. Get to know all your unique eccentricities and fall in love with them. Fall in love with yourself, that way, when someone comes along who doesn’t love you the way you crave… you can let them go. You don’t feel scared because you have YOU, who is whole and amazing enough to love yourself first.
YOU’LL BE LESS LIKELY TO TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE IF YOU’RE REALLY HAPPY AND IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF.
People, unfortunately, will come and go in our lives. Some we lose to death, some circumstance, and some in the name of growth. But the one constant person you have until the end is YOU. So if you take anything from this please take note of the mental strength and confidence you will gain by simply taking some time…out of your life…to connect on a deeper level with yourself. Your other relationships will also thrive because of this newfound strength (which is a nice bonus).
As always, I appreciate your time and attention. Your feedback gives me life so please feel free to comment, email, or private message me…depending on your chosen reading platform.
xo G
