How Anxiety Manifests Through Anger
“Anger attacks” are just as common if not more so than panic attacks, and anxiety frustration is real.
Having anxiety is taxing. It drains you. It can suck the energy right out of any situation.
Imagine trying to enjoy some good news or celebrating a positive scenario… and then, low and behold, anxiety starts creeping in to ruin it for you. Make you question even being happy or feeling excited. That annoying voice of doom and doubt, spinning every situation into “but what if this happens” or “what if they do this” negative connotation.
It is no wonder that often anxiety is co-morbid with anger issues. Can you imagine the frustration?! Depending on the severity of the anxiety, it can even affect typical, daily tasks that are easy-breezy for other people. Showering, getting ready, or even preparing food can become an overthinking clusterfu*k. Then, we end up feeling shame, resentment, and blaming ourselves or others for the anxiety.
So let’s look at what an “anxiety attack” entails:
- Heart pounding or racing
- Chest pains, tightening, or discomfort
- Excessive sweating
- Shaking or trembling
- Shortness of breath
- Dizziness or lightheaded
- Tingling or itching skin
- Fear of losing control
- Intense fear or anxiety
- Hot or cold flashes
- Feeling like attacking others
- Actually attacking others
- Throwing or destroying objects
The typical underlying current to one of these attacks is a sense of feeling emotionally trapped. Some additional common criteria are:
- Irritable feelings in the past six months
- Angry overreaction to small irritations
- One or more anger attacks experienced in the past month
- Inappropriate anger directed towards others
Many things can trigger this sort of reaction to stress or anxiety, like financial issues, work and social pressures, family or relationship troubles, lack of sleep, and even frustration over having panic disorder or another type of anxiety disorder.
It is very important to note that not everyone who has anxiety has an anxiety disorder. Some of us are just programmed to respond to normal, everyday stress in an extreme, hyper-vigilant way (usually due to past trauma or maladaptive parenting). An anxiety disorder is when you have irrational anxious reactions or panic attacks at random, sometimes with no trigger at all.
In those cases, I like to think of it like your trigger is broken. That is harder to treat naturally, but can be improved with CBT and NLP therapies.
But back to this anger thing…
I was both intrigued and shocked to realize that although I had felt grateful to never have suffered panic attacks, I damn sure have anger attacks! After wondering for some time why I had developed anger issues, it made so much sense how my anxiety had eventually translated to angry reactions to it. After several mentally abusive, toxic relationships in my past… it really wasn’t too hard to connect the dots.
Now, onto some solutions, shall we?
First, we have to identify the goals and break them down into specifics. For example, one could be “I’m not going to raise my voice or yell during a disagreement or when I feel triggered to react”. The next step would be to figure out a replacement behavior, such as counting, breathing technique, or taking cool-off time.
Second, stop playing the blame game! If you blame others for “pissing you off” or continue to beat yourself up for your reactions… not much will improve. And your resentment will grow. (no bueno) Instead, take responsibility for your reactions and ask for patience from yourself and others.
Third, learn some relaxation techniques. There are a few I think are effective, such as: deep breathing, Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), visualization, and mindful meditation. It is simply a matter of practice and application to get these to work for you.
Last, ask for help and support. Whether that be from someone like myself (a coach), a friend, or a family member. Just be sure that they have some knowledge under their belt and some experience in dealing with anxiety.
Oh… and patience.
As always, I appreciate your time and attention. If you ever have questions or need support, please don’t hesitate to reach out. My email is gabrielle@wellnessinvestor.com . For my regular daily content, check out my Instagram @ gabby_fox_ . Facebook is GabbyFox.Official . Be well.
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