Why Telling Everyone to F**k Off Occasionally is Necessary…
Anxiously HUMAN
It’s ok. You’re human.
Anyone who would judge you for taking time to sort out your thoughts, emotions, or direction is, simply, a jerk. A jerk committed to misunderstanding you and being selfish. There is not a single person on this earth who hasn’t wanted a time out at some point or another. BIG FACTS.
Now enough about them. Let’s focus on YOU.
Not that everyone isn’t entitled to lose their sh*t from time to time, but particularly, the givers do. The ones always worried about everyone else? Sound familiar? Well, I have news for you that we oftentimes forget:
YOU CAN’T TAKE CARE OF OTHERS UNLESS YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST.
I know what you’re thinking… “eye roll”… “so cliche”… “wow, haven’t heard that before”. Listen I’m not pretending I invented the wheel with that statement, I’m simply reminding you that the notion is very relevant, ok?
How so? Well, I’m delighted you asked. (Dripping in sarcasm)
- You cannot “show up” for others properly if you have been neglecting yourself.
You will be distracted, drained, unable to fully commit your attention, and probably wishing you were somewhere else doing something else. Like resting that restless mind perhaps.
2. You will start to resent the people in your life that are taking all your time and energy, even though you’re giving it away like Halloween candy.
Your patience will grow thin. You will become short-tempered. Your responses will get snappier and more… b**chy, shall we say? The worst part is the people around you won’t understand because you volunteer so much of your time and attention!
3. Your self-confidence will sink because, frankly, you aren’t even a priority in your own life.
Looking and feeling tired, neglecting enjoyable activities, and just not taking care of yourself will have you looking in the mirror one day and feeling… forlorn.
Being able to define these things so well comes from personal experience. I am guilty. Having that whole nurturing, empathetic DNA is a real thorn in my side sometimes. I gain satisfaction and fulfillment from seeing others’ happiness. But what about me? What happens if I’m so busy filling everyone’s tank that I look suddenly and realize mine is EMPTY?
Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I broke down. Like a car that had run out of gas. It was a sad sight. Turns out being strong and handling everything like a boss so everyone else is good, wasn’t good for me. I was neglecting my own emotions. I was neglecting my inner feelings and soldiering through.
If you’re there, if you feel like you’ve been holding the line too long and the dam is going to break….
PRESS PAUSE. TELL EVERYONE TO LITERALLY… NICELY… F**K OFF FOR A BIT.
I know, I know.
“But, I have responsibilities!”
“But, what will they do without my help?”
“But, what if things don’t get done?!”
HEY, WHAT IF YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE MISERABLE JUST TO MAKE OTHERS’ HAPPY AND FEED THEIR EXPECTATIONS?
You’re human, as I stated at the start of this. Life will go on. You know what happens when you’re not around to manage everything? People figure it out! I know, crazy right? And yes 9 times out of 10 your work will still be there when you return. And if it isn’t, it was a sh*t job anyway.
You only have ONE YOU. You can find new jobs, new friends, new partners. But you will never ever find another YOU. So, please, do yourself a favor and take a break if you need one. Whether it be a couple weeks like me… or a month or more.
It’s your life, your soul, your mind, your little fleshy body to care for, no one else’s. You will find that when you take that break, and you hit RESET…
You come back: better, stronger, more focused on what truly matters. To YOU.
Here’s how I did it…
No social media.
More outdoor time with my pup.
No stressful convos or interactions AT ALL.
Paused my responsibilities.
Hibernated for a few days and indulged in my bed and movies.
Took myself to do nice things, for me.
Basically… it was all about ME. I didn’t give a F*CK about anyone else for once! It was more liberating than I ever imagined, or could put into words.
Ok, now it your turn!!
xo…
G
